At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
