it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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