So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
