Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
pray to the hookup gods
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
