Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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