My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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