Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I am naked and annoyed.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
