You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
