for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
