Your mouth is God's brothel.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
