Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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