Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
