forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
