her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
