is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
