real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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