yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
