kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
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