I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
