We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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