i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
