What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
