she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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