actually, I'm a sock model
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
