I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
