He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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