I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
