found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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