batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
