Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
