Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
