So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
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