Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
