I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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