"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
We are all done wearing pants today
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
