Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
