she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
