Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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