All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
