I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
