Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
