im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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