she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
When did angry sex become our thing?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
