your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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