I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
The air was thick with penises
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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