Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
