It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
