he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
We are all done wearing pants today
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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