That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
