U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Randomize
