She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
