My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
